Stuck in the Can... for Four Days!

When I see the headline:

Man freed after 100 hours trapped in a lavatory

I have to stop and read.

Found on Reuters, a retired Scottish school teacher used an outdoor toilet at lawn bowling club when the handle became jammed and the fell apart, locking him in for four days!

He reportedly kept warm by dipping his feet in warm water.  Temperatures outside were freezing.

No word on what he drank.  He had no food.  I'm guessing there must have been something besides public restroom toilet water to drink.

He must be the only dude in the world with no cell phone.

$1,000,000 Bill

I'm way behind the curve on writing about this story...  I can't even remember where I first saw it, but The National Ledger is reporting some waste of flesh in Georgia tried to open a bank account with a $1,000,000 bill. 

I might be wrong, but I think the largest bill in circulation right now is a $100 bill, so good luck with that.

I'll Sue Everybody!

Some sack-of-crap in Florida was out buying his favorite malt liquor, Schlitz, and was hit on the head by a falling can of beer.  So, being a red-blooded American, he is suing... everyone.

He has brought suit against a number of breweries not even remotely involved outside of making beer, including the local Lakefront Brewery.

His wife is piping up claiming she has suffered:

“the loss of the value of her husband’s services, society, companionship and consortium by reason of his injuries.”

Yeah, I'm sure when this guy is tore up on his malt liquor he's quite the companion.

In the end, hopefully this loser gets to pay for the wasted legal expenses of everyone involved.